Drishti What?

Deb chaney talking about her paintings in 2015

How this project began...

Before I get into why I chose to name this upcoming painting exhibit The Drishti Experience - Capturing the Frequency of My Well-Being, we’re going to go back in time, and if you are curious, I’d like to share with you the story of when and where the idea came to me.

In October 2015, I was invited to give an artists’ talk at the Vancouver Arts Colloquium Society. This was when and where the idea came to me; it was from a really good question one of the audience members asked me after my presentation.

For the engagement, I brought a number of 23” x 30” abstract paintings on 300 pound cold press watercolor paper, from my Fragments of Life Series to show and tell. I used the paintings and their titles to share how I felt that making this art had re-taught me how to be in the world and start to feel good again. For this to make sense, we have to go even further back in time.

On July 8th, 2002, on my 28th birthday, after four days of labor,  The Universe gave me the greatest gift of my life. I won’t pretend it was easy or comfortable, however, sometimes the most challenging experiences we go through offer us the most substantial gifts.

My son Max was born and died that day.  He had congenital defects that were not detected prior to birth, so even though he came out alive and kicking, a beautiful, perfect little baby, his lungs were the size of lima beans. I watched the medical team try to resuscitate him, but nothing could be done. This little angel came and went, transforming me for evermore.

The next year, my daughter Ruth was born, and subsequently came the heedless gifts of divorce, depression, and delusion. I thought I could handle being a single parent, do it all on my own, but several years later, after nights of anxiety attacks, and days of planning my exit, I was so exhausted and mentally unwell that I was hospitalized. I then lost custody of my daughter. 

I didn’t know it back then, but I was existing at the very bottom of the frequencies of emotion: I lived in shame. The experience was a combination of feelings of guilt, grief, and fear.  This is important to mention because this project is about capturing the frequency of my well-being, so we need to bring the concept of frequency into the discussion in order to understand how it all plays together. At that time, I felt such a level of indignity around all of this happening and my being unable to ‘handle it’ that life felt unbearable. The one thing that brought me solace and glimpses of joy was making art. And I had a deep and burning desire to get well, but no idea yet how.

Back to 2015: During the Q&A part of the artist’s talk, a woman raised her hand and said that from her perspective she observed someone who had done a tremendous amount of healing. (Thank you). She then asked me, What did I feel was the key component that helped me heal from mental illness? It was exactly at that moment that the idea of the Drishti Painting Series came to me, because my answer was the definition of Drishti.

Drishti comes from the Sanskrit word meaning to focus the mind. I realized then that my focus on my decision to do whatever it takes to get well so that I could get my daughter back was the reason I was healing. I became aware, in the moment of this woman asking me her question, that the power of focus is absolutely key in the process. I also realized that many other components that had helped me find my well-being were also imbued in my paintings.

I am excited to share the other elements that I feel played an important role in my healing journey, in my later writings, as these discoveries are very much where things get fun and we move up the ladder of frequency, into courage, acceptance and finally into flow…

We all go through challenges in life; this is an inescapable part of human existence. It is what we do with them and whether or not we let them ‘keep us down’ or if we choose and allow them to teach and transform us. I made a decision to get well and had my practice of making art alongside me to help and guide me. This  is why I am so excited to create this series of paintings and share them with you. To celebrate positive possibilities, healing,  and well-being. 

Join me?

Click here to receive an email invitation to The Drishti Experience Exhibit - Capturing the Frequency of My Well-Being, a series of large scale abstract mixed media paintings for exhibit Nov 2024 - Jan 2025 at Amelia Douglas Gallery, Vancouver, BC, Canada. 

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